Life in Korea had not been smooth, either. Engineers made good money there. But not woman engineers. I couldn't get a job for several years after graduating college - only because I was a woman. I did manage to get a job as an assistant manager while pursuing my doctorate. I started to settle down a bit and upon meeting Sam, my husband, gave up everything I had achieved to follow him to the US. Here, I had to start all over again.

Many Koreans have made their living here by first working in a restaurant; I thought of doing the same. I actually did work at a restaurant for the first few days until my degree in Textile Engineering helped me find a decent job at a small company, where I worked for seven years. I was very lucky to get a job as the Production Supervisor. At first, I managed 60 people in the Production Department and, as the company grew, well over 200. Putting all my time and effort into my work - 10 to 12 hours a day, 6 to 7 a week - I believed I would be promoted and rewarded automatically as long as I worked hard. But the reality was harsh and bitter. For those seven years, my title remained the same: Production Supervisor. I never got promoted. But faced a lot of prejudice.

I faced difficulties when I first began working there. People blamed me whenever things went wrong, saying they couldn't understand what I said. In those days, Sam was the only one I could rely on to relieve my stress from work. I must have been quite a bit of a pain to him because I complained to him every day, yelling, "I want to quit and go back to Korea." Having traveled to many countries, Sam always encouraged me by saying, "I know Korean women are smart, determined, and they can do whatever they want to do." Although not a Korean, he had strong faith in Koreans. He believed that I wouldn't give up because I was a Korean woman.

I asked my Korean friends what I should do to get promoted and to succeed at work. They all answered that first I should get a degree from an American college. Following their advice, I enrolled in the MBA course at SFSU and found a job as production manager at another company.

It was even more difficult to study and work at the same time. I thought I would almost die from my tight schedule. I had to study all night long on so many days even though I was already exhausted from my day job. Finishing the course, I discovered sadly that my company still did not show any interest in promoting me. Even after I finished much of the MBA program, after contributing significantly in doubling the sales from $4 million to $8 million - even after becoming the next candidate for a director position - I remained the Production Manager.

I got so curious why I had not been promoted that I called my former boss at the first company. Surprisingly, his answer was very simple. It was because, "Nobody understood what you thought and what you said." Asking close American friends the same question, they said, "You already have the necessary qualifications and degree for your job. What is important for you now is to learn to communicate with Americans, to understand their way of thinking, and to be part of their community. Not to get more degrees in school."

Learning this very important lesson shocked me. What I really needed was to overcome prejudice by learning to communicate more effectively with Americans. Although somewhat aware of this, I previously thought more degrees would overcome it.

In 1997, I joined a Toastmasters club where I could learn and practice presentation skills and leadership. I also hired a personal speech coach. Most of the members were Anglo-Saxon Americans; I was the only Korean. I started my unique "Success Training" from that moment. It was a battle against myself.

I participated in almost all the seminars I could find to improve myself. I practiced giving speeches in English. I also eagerly learned to be a good listener at the same time. Soon I became an officer in my club and started developing my leadership skills. By working with club members, I learned how to deal with all Americans, including immigrants. I had a mentor to guide me whenever I ran into problems. Among all those seminars and classes I took, my favorites were sales courses. My classmates already worked in sales and had an advantage in what were already truly tough classes. I shed plenty of bitter tears working to catch up to them.

I also worked hard to develop a positive way of thinking. Gradually, I became a proactive person. And after a few years, I became a totally different Jinsoo.

Once I began thinking positively, my self-confidence grew accordingly. I started my own business Toastmasters club called "Rhinoceros Business Toastmasters Club" in San Francisco. It has become the most successful Toastmasters club among approximately 300 in the Bay area. Most members are native English speakers, yet they come to my club to learn to give speeches from me!!

I also received my promotion to become Director of Manufacturing. Along with increasing responsibilities. But above all, I became happy. I felt my self-confidence and happiness growing. I am proud of myself when I realize that others recognize me and my work. My mom used to tell me, "You will be successful. You will be a great person." It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized the wonderful effects of those encouraging words.

I dare say success is an attitude. Attitude comes from our body and posture. Our body consists of different energies. And our attitude is made of these energies. So the kind of life we can have depends on how we use these energies. For example, among the people we meet everyday, we find some people are favorable and some are not, even before we talk to them. Communication consists of 7% words but 93% attitude.

Success is a battle against our mind. After accepting the invitation to speak at the Taiwanese Chamber of Commerce, I became very nervous. "Can I do well? Will people like my speech?" I heard that most attending the meeting had at least a master's degree and many owned their own business. So I began to prepare mentally for success. Closing my eyes, I imagined myself giving a speech. Saw hundreds in the audience. Saw
myself coming onto the stage. With the audience looking at me. Saw myself giving a speech with eloquence and passion. And people laughing and giving me applause! Wanting it to be fun and enjoyable, I repeated that visualization for 2 days.

After the speech, my friend told me the audience laughed 21 times. Everything turned out exactly as I had imagined.

I will give you lots of homework through my column. Anyone who takes my advice into their heart and follows it will definitely succeed. Take it step by step in following my advice. Here are the things that you should believe and remind yourself of them 10 times a day:

• First, I am a truly great person. I challenge myself to do one new thing a day and accomplish one thing that I have postponed before.
• Second, I am a person of faith. I am the best. I do everything better. I am number one.
• Third, I decide to be successful. I have a happy family and am getting recognition from people.
• Fourth, I am a person of vision. I always look into the future and make the right decision.
• Fifth, I am a creative person. I always pursue new things and make the right decision on them.
• Talk to yourself about these points all the time and believe in yourself. Use the present tense, not the future tense.

On my way to work, I always to myself in the car "Jinsoo, you are the best." I speak loudly or sometimes even scream so that other drivers next to me stare in a "what-a-crazy girl-she-is" way.

I urge you to do the same. Once again, success is an attitude. Success is to believe. As long as you do what I ask you to do in my column, success will find you. After you read my column and experience the success the way I did, please contact me and share your experiences with me.

Jinsoo@JinsooTerry.com